Penises are pretty cool. They should star in more action movies.

Sometimes I just want Big Chungus to unga bunga my poor butthole, ya feel me?

Happy Fathers’ Day to my PulseVault fam ❤️

I tried looking up “pussy” in the PulseVault browser with no context whatsoever. Surprisingly enough, I did not come across nearly the amount of cats I had expected.

My porn unit calls me DJ Smallpenis, because I’m small and I have a penis. They probably could have picked a better name for me though.

Ad: Single cunts are in your area, so be on the lookout!
Me: Alright, I get it. I happen to have a mirror.

When I say PENIS, you say PARKER!

Roses are red, violets are purple. Santa Clause watches me masturbate as he touches his left nipple.

Middle-aged, 40 pounds overweight, and unable to lift 2 bags? The name is Sick Phil. If you can't penetrate me, my retractable penis will.

I just wanted to say I love this site with a passion and I hope to expand PulseVault’s already colorful catalog with my contributions.

Came for the dildos, stayed for the double penetration.