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What I was like

What I was like on Meth Before the age of 40, I had never had a drug in my life including marijuana. At age 40, a guy that I had been having sex with knew that I had never done a drug and knew that I was in a depression. Without telling me, he decided to put in KY Jelly and instantly I was hooked. He did this over a three day period and during that time not only did he give me 9 but his roommate also slammed me 7 times. Needless to say, I became an addict that very weekend. Well, in the past I have really gone overboard while using. The reason I am writing this is because I received a text message from an unknown guy. When I asked him where he got my number, he said that faggot slut #000 000 1010 and that my number was written in black ink on the back of the toilet paper dispenser at a mall in a large city. I was so shocked. I remember that during one of my big binges, that I went around to malls, gas stations, and park benches, writing this message. That is what made me think of the things I have done while flying. Over 85% of my meth use was by myself, either alone in my room, an abandoned building, or my car. I would try to take pictures and videos of everything that I did, including writing on myself with black sharpie. Pics and videos of different objects besides dildos being shoved up my ass. If I was not at home, I would usually be in the one major city about 50 minutes from my village. I would go there because in our village we have no Black Men. It was in this city that while flying, I would purposely drive down the areas I knew I could find Black Men walking. I would try to offer them a ride, I would yell out the window Black Men are Superior Gods, and I would walk the streets myself. Always very risky behavior and never cared about my safety.  I am clean and sober now and have been for about 9 months. To be honest, yes there are times that I miss it, I miss that feeling. However, I also know that when on meth, I turn into a very nasty and perverted person. 
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